Perhaps Love

The memory of love will see you through.

                                                    —John Denver

Several years after my father retired from Lockheed, he began making tapes–a precursor to Playlists. He spent hours going through his own records, tapes, and CD’s, making selections, and arranging their order. He made copies for all of the family and labeled them DGT’s (or D_ _ _ Good Tapes–my cursing had to come from somewhere!)

Today, my mother came across the file for the DGT’s. It is thick and well-organized–naturally, it is my Dad’s–and holds the catalogues he made for each tape. They are detailed lists of the order of the music on side A and side B, along with the names of the musician, the composer, and any notes on the source.

The tapes are diverse: the first one he ever made begins with Judy Collins singing Amazing Grace and includes Dvorak, Offenbach, and Hank Williams. The second entry says: Three versions of Perhaps Love (A) John Denver (B) James Galway (C) Placido Domingo and John Denver Duet.

I come from a musical family and what a gift that has been. My mother is a pretty amazing pianist and taught piano lessons in our home. One sister played violin, the other french horn. My brothers played clarinet and trombone, along with guitar and saxophone. Whenever we went on trips, we would sing in three or four part harmony, and the favorite part of Christmas for us all was singing the carols in our living room on Christmas Eve–before Dad read the Christmas story in Luke’s Gospel with his resonant bass voice–as mother softly played or Dallas strummed.

Soon, we will add a new person to the family, my sister’s wonderful fiance, Guy. When we gathered recently to celebrate the announcement, my sister-in-law jokingly asked him, But do you sing?! We all laughed.

My dad was the only one who didn’t play an instrument–although he did take up the harmonica in his later years. But there never has been a greater lover of music than him. He would sit for hours at the end of the sofa with his head leaned back and his eyes closed listening to his extensive collection: classical, popular hits from the 40’s, sacred, even some country–if it was good.

As a teenager, one of the greatest gifts he gave me and my siblings, was to listen to ‘our’ music with us in the living room. James Taylor, John Denver, Judy Collins became musicians he loved too.

Now he has dementia. Thankfully, it is not severe, but it has changed his habits. He no longer sits in the living room enjoying music but in the den where he watches TV. He pushes the remote to change the channels and turns it off and on in degrees of disgust, interest, or boredom.

But he still whistles. And I will occasionally hear mother and him sing an old tune together. When he goes to church, he’ll remark “Wonderful” after a particularly good choral piece or piano solo.

In the front of the DGT folder I picked up today were the words to Perhaps Love by John Denver. The lyrics are poignant and sing out to me this afternoon as I remember all the gifts my Dad has given and continue to give to me:

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself and don’t know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on and some say letting go
And some say love is everything, and some say they don’t know

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it’s cold outside, thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

Some say love is holding on and some say letting go
Some say love is everything and some say they don’t know

Perhaps love is like the mountains, full of conflict, full of change
Like a fire when it’s cold outside, thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

We don’t know what the future holds for my daddy–or for any of us for that matter. But I am sure of this… the memory of love–and music–will see us through.

P.S. You may enjoy googling Perhaps Love and listening to John Denver and Placido Domingo’s wonderful duet of it on youtube.

                        

I Dreamed a Dream

I don’t imagine there are too many of us who haven’t heard of Susan Boyle. She stunned the world in 2009 when she appeared on the television show “Britains Got Talent.”

I still get goose bumps–no, chills up my spine–when I view her performance of I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables on youtube, the most watched video of that same year.

The chills come in waves as the truth and strength of her voice, its pristeen flawless beauty, bring down the house and raise the fans to their feet. But the part of the video which impacts me the most is what transpires before she begins to sing. Simon queries her:

S: Ok, so what’s the dream?

SB: I’m trying to be a professional singer.

S: And why hasn’t it worked out so far, Susan?

SB: I’ve never been given the chance before but here’s hoping it will change.

Well, Susan, it did. You not only dreamed a dream, you are living it. I hope it is what you really wanted. We hear the expression, “Be careful what you wish for or pray” and Susan reminds us of the truth of these words. If we’re not careful, we’ll find we are living our dreams.

A song with a similar title was performed many years ago by John Sebastian at Woodstock: I had a dream last night What a lovely dream it was I dreamed we were all alright Happy in a land of Oz. At that same festival many others would dream dreams and see visions, some LSD induced, of a different reality-a world of peace and love (and yes, ‘drugs, sex, and rock ‘n roll’), but there was a certain innocence to that time. People believed they could really change the world. And the astonishing thing is they did.

Country Joe and the Fish sang their Viet Nam song I Feel Like I’m Fixin’ to Die with the lyrics, Well it’s 1 2 3, what are we fighting for? Don’t ask me I don’t give a damn. Next stop is Viet Nam. They, along with many others, protested a war and helped to bring it down. Joan Baez strummed on her guitar and led We Shall Overcome with young students and protesters from all walks of life and the Civil Rights Act was passed in 1964.

We shall overcome/ We shall overcome/ We shall overcome some day.

Deep in my heart/ I do believe/ We shall overcome some day.

The words which come next tell us how we will do this, exactly how we will overcome the seemingly insurmountable barriers which divide and hurt people, which cause wars, which oppose peace: We’ll walk hand in hand…/Truth will make us free…/We shall overcome some day.

Deep in my heart, I still believe these words and want to live them. I want to walk hand in hand with others–those like me and those who are a world apart. I want the truth to set me free even if I am scared. I want all wars to end. I long–like every beauty queen, every boy and girl–for world peace.

About a month ago, I had a dream I vividly remember. I was in a monastery, dark and full of mystery with an altar like the Holy of Holies. A single candle burned. I reached down and picked up the candle and carried it to a new place–an obvious church but one which was less rich and mysterious, brighter. I placed the candle on the more accessible altar. Then I went to sit with my family and friends.

The intriguing part of the dream was in the movement from altar to altar for I was carried by a Being. I don’t know if the being was an angel, a god, or a man but it definitely felt masculine. Great black wings stretched over me while I was tucked beneath, enclosed in very strong arms. I recall how in the dream I felt so tenderly loved and all of me honored as the creature gently placed one hand under my bottom while we flew, not in a crass way but more of a blessing.

The dream is prophetic and sheds light on what for me is being formed- the three pronged worlds of writing, prayer, and simple work where family and friends are my community. You see, when asked by God who speaks like Simon, only nicer, “Ok, what’s the dream?” I had the foolish audacity to really answer. And now my dreams are coming true. 

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hopes were high and life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

I dreamed that God would be forgiving

We may not be like Susan Boyle and want to be a professional singer or Joan Baez and inspire others to work for justice, but I believe God wants us all to dream and the words in Joel are prophetically true and include evryone: I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh. And your sons and your daughters shall prophesy. Your old men shall dream dreams and your young men shall see visions.

So this morning, I offer you a word of caution: Be careful what you wish. Be careful what you pray. You may find yourself in a famous youtube video or at the heart of a new act of Congress. Or you may find yourself serving pies in a bakery and writing blogs each morning at four. But whatever your dream, God is interested. For God is a Dreamer too.